Argos World Cup Roster

It’s World Cup time! Well, actually, it’s CFL 2018 kickoff time, but I’ll give you that post later.

Yes, the eyes of the world turn to Russia but not for pee pee tapes this time. No, everyone is watching the so-called, “Beautiful game” as the world’s best soccer players challenge for this:

Don’t fight for it, just buy it here!

I’m gonna be totally honest with ya, folks. Soccer is NOT my game. Usually when watching it I have to remind myself that you can’t hit the guy coming across the middle looking down at his feet. No matter how badly he’s asking for it (sometimes literally. Have you seen the theatrics when someone makes contact with another player??? Ugh…). But, since they’re talking about nations competing in football, and all sports teams fanbases are called nations and the Argos play football, I thought I’d put together,

THE TORONTO ARGONAUTS WORLD CUP ROSTER

Forward: Offensive position usually placed behind the striker; this player uses speed to make crisp accurate passes.
If you’re talking about crisp, accurate passes, it’s clear that the Forward position has to be occupied by QB Ricky Ray. 

Right Back: Defensive position that covers the right side of the field; this player’s role is to impede an opponent’s progress toward the goal.
“Impede an opponent’s progress?” Sounds like Mr. Marcus Ball has found his spot.

Right Midfielder: Center position that plays on the right side of the field; this player uses playmaking skills to pass the ball to the forwards.
If Ray is our Forward, then it’s Sean McEwen that gets him the ball.

Defensive Midfielder: Center position; this player tries to take the ball from the opponent before that player reaches the defenders and quickly mount a counterattack.
Few players like to take the ball from the opponent more than Jermaine Gabriel.

Goalkeeper: Position whose role is to prevent the ball from entering the goal; this is the only player allowed to touch the ball with the hands.
I think all Argos fans can agree that when it comes to preventing the ball at the goal with your hands, it’s gotta be Matt Black

Striker: Offensive position whose main role is to score goals; this player plays a forward position in the opposing team’s zone.
It’s obvious that James Wilder Jr‘s main role is to score goals…Er, touchdowns.

Left Midfielder: Center position that plays on the left side of the field; this player uses playmaking skills to pass the ball to the forwards.
“Playmaking skills” is on SJ Green‘s business card.

Defensive Midfielder: Center position; this player tries to take the ball from the opponent before that player reaches the defenders and quickly mount a counterattack.
He’s more about taking the air from the lungs of the opponent than the ball, but Cleyon Laing is an equal opportunity defender. 

Left Back: Defensive position that covers the left side of the field; this player’s main role is to slow or stop an opponent’s progress toward the goal.
Is there another player that stops opponent’s progress like Shawn Lemon?

Stopper: Position that stays back, marks an opposing forward and prevents that player from being in a scoring position.
I think we can all agree that Bear Woods has left his mark on opposing players.

Sweeper: Position that stays back, anticipates defensive mistakes by teammates and makes up for them; this player is not required to closely mark an opposing player.
Gotta go with the returning TJ Heath in this role.

This is a roster I’d pay to see (heck, I already do!).  If you know soccer better than I do, gimme your picks in the comments below.

Thanks to Visual Dictionary Online for the definitions of positions I’ve never heard of.

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